Slotracers - Slot Racers of Ontario

"Go Fast or Go Home"

"God of Slotcars"

He started SRO back in 1902. Yes the first slot car track on earth, that raced steam powered 10 lb slot cars. De-slots were dicey as the cars tended to shoot off the track like guided missles, embedding themselves in the sides of the barn, or dog, or horse or ex wife. While they had fun, they realised that steam power couldnt work. So, being ever the Technician, he invented electricity, copper tape, mdf and yes, even nuclear power. When not busy, he devised a way to pasteurise, or should we say roneurise milk. Long before that french fcuk. He also was able to find the fountain of youth and remains a young 60, still racing electric toy cars. 


"Dr Evil"

Dr. Evil, is a former edukator. He is the self proclaimed Polish Prince. He left Poland during the Great War with his dad and mom and brother and ultimately his livestock (sheep). As He grew into a young adult, he found a hobby. Luckily for him, he later discovered slot cars too. He was to learn a hard lesson that his first hobby, stalking young girls, was not the best, from a health point of view. Single-handedly Dr. Evil played with himsel..mmmm his slotcars, developing a deeper love for small things with rubber. His papo Zubo, wanted him to get a job, but young Dr. Evil resisted and instead became a teacher. This past year saw he forced into retirement as a Principal in a Catholic School.  He made Zubo and Lubchanka very proudly.

He joined SRO about 2 years ago and with his quick wit and happy personality, drove off 3 long standing members. No, he, calm down, I did not say touch your member!!!!

Anyway, Dr. Evil whiles away his golden years, muttering and talking about his old engine, that he still uses in ALL of his slot cars. He lives to beat "Professor", who long ago gave up racing for his new hobby, naked train racing and extreme beach bike riding.


 Camera broke over Dr. Evil Head at the last race, sorry.

She is from a foreign country. He sounds funny and races like he sounds. I say? Ello? He speaks the Queen's English and mixes his Scotch with cream from Devon. I don't even want to think about it. Formerly an H.O. racer he now has moved to bigger things.

"Bite Me"

I had to update his profile, as it was, like him, very old. "Bite Me" and "God of Slotcars" started this stinking club about 4 years ago. In deference to Dr Evil, we kept it going. What can I say about he, that hasn't already been said?

Lots. "Bite Me" met "God of Slotcars" during his first grade 9 experience at Parkdale Collegiate. "Bite Me" and "God of Slotcars" played football together, oh, and at school too. As "God of Slotcars" grew into the roll of taking 2 years per grade, he moved on to a successful career.  To him. Having mastered pencil sharpening, he found his true calling. Finishing last in slotcar races. He loved it so much he tried the hobby and left it for 20 years. Ron, plying him with alcohol, confused him enough to get back into it. Congratulations to he as well for winning a DTM race this season. We immediately dropped the series.

"Jou Look in Mah Eyes Babeh"

 From Latin America by way of Lithuania, or however you spell it. He is a Latin dancer with moves that are truly breathtaking. Unfortunately for him and us, he thought the words slot cars referred to women of ill repute. So he came out and joined us. This led to him teaching his latin counterpart "Professor", the tango. Luckily "Professor" as we know him, a former Mengele protoge was more into racing toy cars than dancing with spandex clad men. Our club is alive and well.


I don't think his previous bio was all true, so I am apologizing for erroneous information. Dr. Mengele, or "Professor"/daddy, as his blonde blue eyed relatives call him, was born somewhere. I do not think it really was Venezuala, more like Brazil.

Leaving Venezuela and that fun youth group of neo something or others, on a one way ticket to Canada, he came upon an ad for our club. He joined and rapidly rose up the ladder in the club and thanks to Raymundo learned the tango as well. "Professor" has settled in well, his mentor. "Professor", now a legal aid, strives to relieve his clients of as much money as possible at every turn. Well done.


"Semtex" claims to be an Arab. He doenst seem to have an Arabic accent tho. Anyways, Semtex as he likes to be called,  grew up in the United Arab Emerites and was a poor sheppard working for the Exxon Corporation. There he met Achmed and learned about putting electronics in toys and riding beach bikes. Once he came to  Canada to live, his future looked explosive. He took to toy cars like a fuse to dynamite. A star was born. He has spent the summer in Ireland or someplace over there. He said he had to take a refresher course in electronic clocks. Interesting.

"Lego Pete"

 Lego, as he likes to be known, joined our club last year. He spends countless hours in his basement working on the cars, to intentionally make them slow. So far, his strategy has worked. Lego now has a sense of humor. In addition, he sometimes joins us to race. Interesting? No not really. But he does create a great moving chicane.


"the mechanic"

 He track is huge, to compensate for other deficiencies. Jim is a quiet lad prone to a spirited .."ooooh"...when he is nerfed off the track. Gone sailing during the summer months he returns to race in the fall, and spends the rest ot the season catching up.


Scott..from out of the west rode the mad accountant!

Our newest member lives in the darkness of his basement building tracks with chicanes on humps. He is developing a devious mind for interpretation of rules and tax laws. He is a quick learner and often finishes not last.


 Butch, "the apprentice"
Slot racing is a major step for Butch who previously only worked with wheelchair accessible taxis but he's learning the ropes fast! Indeed, Butch is making progress and the whole team hopes to see him taking the highest prize!